17. Semantics / Conceptual Metaphors / Finals / Slashes

(My #16 was accidentally on draft mode and not published.)


Have there really been 17 weeks? I know I've been early sometimes and late other times. I tried to write one of these for each week, I may have ended up doubling some weeks... I have no idea.

I don't like being basic. I find it contradictory to art since I think art is about shooting past what you thought was your potential. I think that's mostly what I've been repeating time and time again here on this blog.

Taking an extreme left brained class like linguistics with a right brained (at least in my strategies) screenwriting class has caused issues for me. For this semester, I've been able to slide into the right brained side with more ease, but flipping the switch the other way has been fierce. Doing both at the same strength at the same time is overwhelming. I'm currently more in my linguistic mindset after a paper, presentation, and final which I think admittedly I did more mediocre on than usual. Perhaps if I pushed more into linguistics these past four months I would have suffered in screenwriting. It's difficult to balance the two at the same time, at least while writing my initial pilot draft. I would bargain that now that's its a more analytical task of going back through and dotting and crossing my letters, I won't be leaning so much on the right side. I don't think I'm a one-sided brain kind of person. In fact, I think that's what makes me unusual. But trying to think in both for a semester... which I've done at times... is absurd now that I ponder this.

This fall has been the best part of the year for me. I feel like things are transitioning well from here to spring too. It's been a rough road in graduate school. When I first started this journey, I told myself, "I have my wings now, but I need to get them detailed." I'm trying to understand my own feathers.

I do believe in having a large writing portfolio. I've proven to myself I can write across the genres. I think I want to take a bold step. I'd like to make up my own genre. Ha! Yeah, I've lost it...

It's probably going to be more of a sub-genre, or a child genre. I see a lot of opportunity in the Ozarks not being used. So before I do anything gutsy and move to a coast, I think I want to take some chances here to create something wild, organic, touching, beautiful... and my own. Instead of replicating the voices around me, I'd like to go more into something unique that I've found internally in myself. I'm not sure it will be anything new concept wise, but I think it'd be fresh even if it's been seen in some capacity. I want to give myself a chance, and I think sometimes in order to do that you have to go out and create that chance yourself. I have learned that in creativity that one of the reasons I like being behind the scenes is that I can inspire performance and there's something gratifying in that. There's nothing more vulnerable than being the actor, the singer, or the dancer. It's so much more raw in the spotlight.

As with writing, I think it's important to have a thousand ideas in store. A writer should always have so much to write that they feel their life won't be able to grab at all of it. (The pronoun "their" really should be acceptable in singular cases. I'm tried of wanting to use it that way, stopping to think about changing it, and then being distracted by a pronoun.) Writing takes practice. Without a thousand different ideas, it can be difficult to fuel the need to write.

I want authenticity in my writing. I think in order to do that I have to seek out truth for myself. Authenticity is what the soul craves, but I think we're overwhelmed in a world run on superficiality. I think the worst insult to writing would be that it's superficial. I cringe at aspects in writing that ring superficial. Sure, it exists in the real world, but that's everything I want to avoid -- just like being too basic. There's a time when simple math problems are appealing, but I think as you grow and appreciate math -- larger sequences rub your mind in more of a philosophical way. Granted, ones and zeros can offer a lot of information... I can't believe I just went there. Okay. We're not just a bunch of binaries. There's little, in my opinion, that's left to black and white thinking. I find that reasoning underdeveloped, generally speaking.

The more I can think of in spectrum form, the more I find that I understand. I hate micromanagement and placing people into camps of good and bad. There's really a nice amount of blend in figuring out how much something can be given freedom and how much structure. If we're counting but the ridges on checkers, we won't play the game.

This post is a mess. This is why you shouldn't take linguistics and teleplay writing at the same time. There's too many conceptual metaphors, and I'm having way too much fun trying to connect dots here. This is why you should take linguistics and teleplay writing at the same time.

Figurative language doesn't scare me. In fact, put more metaphor into your screenplay. The more wild the metaphor -- the more tantalizing to the audience. We need new visuals to inspire, and to get there is going to take reinventing the metaphors. I want prose that's as lucid as my dreams. I want the reality that's there, because if I'm going to spend roughly 33% of my time dreaming, I would like more to help decode what exactly that neurologic euphoria exactly happens to be.

Semantics is your friend. Maybe men are like syntax and women are like semantics; they both operate together but... I don't think they quite relate. Goodnight everybody!

16. Auxiliary Characters / Old School Stories

When developing characters, I'm open to where any character may transform whether a lowly one line guest or one of the protagonists. I spend much more time with the characters I intend to be the main cast by deliberately daydreaming about them, considering the fullness of their: origins, flaws, desires, setbacks, living spaces, lineage, relationships, etc. I have found a number of times that a character I threw into a script just to fill up the necessary space ended up being upgraded to a more essential member. Currently with the pilot teleplay, I can think of three characters that this was the exact case: Rebecca, Lise, and Edgar.

I regret to say that's how the women begun their fictional selves, but at the time of their development I was trying to have an initial understanding of Caden. Rebecca was disgustingly two-dimensional and almost deux ex machina in rescuing Caden. I then wrote a short story about Rebecca and began to give her a soul outside being a tool to end a problem.

Lise was frankly an archetype. I threw her into a dank barroom and felt she married well into the lengthy description I had made before grappling with Caden... because I was being chicken with introducing my protagonist  These were all pretty novice tricks, but those preliminary short stories from years ago were the igniting spark for the story universe I have today.

Lastly, Edgar is one of the last created main cast characters (to date). There were certain needs in the story world that were not being addressed, and the more I thought about what those problems were (an outlier in the villain community, eloquence, strong ethics, a realization of the evils of one's own society, etc). It became clear that I needed someone to fill that role; Edgar was by far one the most inevitable characters. In fact, I think in many ways when creating a story universe you don't create characters, you discover them. It's almost as though you're scratching at a black hole hoping to pull out fossilized quantum foam -- that's a more precise way of looking at character development. You have to predict where characters belong, ask questions of who is this person's boss, who is really in control, who could challenge this character, who can represent innocence here, and what could complicate and deepen this further? Characters, like actors, have to be pushed farther than you would initially invision their emotional performances and story arcs.

In the middle of nowhere... the mind may focus on a scene with a zombie pushing a shopping cart. The writer may spend the next few months crafting a story around how this zombie came to be and why he's pushing a shopping cart. Ultimately the writer may decide that the zombie and the shopping cart are unnecessary and can be cut. And that cutting that initial scene made the whole of the story all the more seamless. Characters operate in the same way. They need to shift to their best performance, and their development origins may be wildly different from their ends, but I think if a character isn't pushed to its potential it will remain flat, typical, and an unfortunate piece of boring nothingness. It's due to writer's hubris that so many characters remain stilted. If writers dare more for their characters it not only fosters a greater design, but an audience that will care, be enticed, and more than likely depict a more accurate reflection of reality.

Don't let the characters who grow overpower the protagonist. This is challenging since I would say in so many creative works the protagonists generally are not the favorite of the audience. I can name a few favorites. Like Mulder. The focal light is on the hero. The audience will be confused by too many strong characters competing for the light: it makes things blurry, over saturated even. Give more percentage of the story to the lead(s).

On another point entirely, I am a big believer in paying homage to legends, myths, fairy tales, classical literature, and the like. I think this helps to make an already strong story have a more dignified and mature sense about it. I also think studying the story maps of these stories and playing off them creates stories that better resonate. If the recipe for worthwhile fiction is out there and has an example, go ahead and use that blueprint... but make it your own (like replacing blueberries with chocolate chunks).

I also think going deeper than the classic tale has ever been told is satisfying. Little Red Riding Hood is capable of so much more than we usually give it, but I have seen it redone in many ways that had me reevaluating the story for deeper storytelling. For instance, a cartoon I saw years ago where the narrator was the Wolf, but this wasn't apparent until the end when he's drinking a glass of Red's blood with a book in his hand (creepy). Borrow names used from classics; avoid the regular John, Anne, Chris, Megan -- make those middle names for fiction. And as much as I love Dracula -- don't have two characters with the same first name unless you want to be confusing and distracting.

There may be some charm to a John or an Anne (and in fact I've come across many) but I think this screams humdrum. Those sound like names of a wretchedly two-dimensional rom com. You know why rom coms are dying? Because they need to take risks.

15. I'm not my Characters

I have just written the first draft of the teleplay. It was a rough goal, but the page count is currently at 58. I'm not sure how this happened, but I've been obsessed with this page count since day one. I can't even believe how many scenes are squashed together, and I was thinking this was going to end up at least being 65 pages. Granted, this is a first draft and the number will change.

I'm excited. This draft along with other ideas has given me ideas on how to write some episode bios for the Bible. Once this semester is over, that will be on the top of the list for writing projects to do.

This script has challenged me in different ways. Writing the outline I was more objective, but while writing the script I found myself being more affected by the content. I didn't expect this initial episode would be so dark (and I would not intend for the entire series to be this way because I think it would quickly flat line), but there's been times where this script has sent my mind into some creepy places. I've grown to love many of the characters; I'm excited that Caden and Rebecca are shining through so much more than in the film script version. Lise has even had somewhat of an upgrade, and I think she was already a fairly polished woman.

After spending this much time with character development, I have to admit that it's amateur to think that a writer is only writing characters based off themselves or it's something deeply repressed in his or her mind. Building characters is more like working with photoshop or color correcting editing in general. I see it as though there's several ranges to play with like saturation, contrast, gamma level, etc. These levels have different names for character development, but it's those tweaks that give arbitrary words actual souls. I am not like most of the characters I write. I don't have their abilities -- I mean I can't power house through a building with acrobatics. I'll sprain my ankle (though I wish I could be an acrobat. Olympic gymnastics are on my list of people to envy). I'm not as evil, twisted, and sadistic as some of these characters. I have a weak stomach when it comes to blood; writing about it is rather fun, but actually experiencing people with arms chopped off and puddles of blood is too much for me. That's why I'm a writer, not a crime scene investigator or doctor. I'm also not as good as some of these characters. They have moral compasses that stay true even in the most intense of conflicts. In a sense, I can learn from these imaginary characters and scenarios and in turn improve myself.

A writer needs to have a large amount of range in writing various types of characters, emotions, and across genres. I can write a light hearted comedy just as well as a having-to-keep-your-light-on-at-night horror epic. I think as we progress in society we'll see more and more that writing is not necessarily a blueprint of an individual's psychosis. This error has caused a great deal of suffering for writers, why if we only turn back a century ago some of the most famous writers (especially women) were institutionalized for what they wrote on paper. Just the same, we would burn people at the stake more often for having brains than actual users of witchcraft / magic. There is a number of thoughts, emotions, and experiences to delve into for writing, but the art of fiction is to make writing ring true not necessarily be the identity of the writer's soul. Writing may come from a place of authenticity in the writer's life, but what arises out of that authenticity doesn't have to be who the person is in and of his or her self, and it doesn't mean they've been through the experience that's on the paper. I have not rode on dinosaurs, fought giants, and used telekinesis -- maybe in my dreams -- but I can paint these ideas in words. And that's what it is. An artistic representation of reality, not the exact reality of a person's mind.

14. Experience & Understanding

I have not written as much for my script this past week, which stinks. I had my students turn in their final papers before Thanksgiving so I could have them graded and back the following week. This way their papers and work won't bother me again till finals, and I can focus on my own graduate student responsibilities. Grading papers reveals secret trend patterns that creep up in student writing. It can be ghastly. But after twenty some odd papers, I have found one that makes my heart rejoice and not necessarily for the writing, but the absurdity. I want to share this with anyone who happens to read this, and if that student ever finds this post, which I wouldn't expect in a thousand years, but bless you for writing this for it has made my late morning.

For this semester, I've had my students write with a focus on primary research rather than contextualizing a bunch of boring secondary sources, because few and far between know how to do that well as an undergrad and unless you're passionate about the research there's a pretty solid reason why this redundant secondary source process is terrible. So I've forced them to write and be in the action so as to have more interesting of papers. My favorite paper so far is one from my Ukraine foreign exchange student who spent his time exploring Springfield and Ozarkian cemeteries and funerals. Imagine if you will, if you were in his shoes, over seas in a writing program for a semester and you spent your time exploring European cemeteries. I love it. It's bizarre.

Firsthand experience definitely brings up the level of writing. These papers are far better than the ones I received last semester, and I don't think it's because I've changed a great deal in who I am as an instructor. I think getting one's hands dirty and being challenged implements growth. Having the chance to be on film / television / and web series productions helps the craft of screenwriting. In my amateur filmmaking skills, my first thought tends to be to cut down the draft to the bare necessities, not because I don't trust the details but for two big reasons 1.) when you only keep what's necessary it takes out the watered down parts of the script 2.) the less to have to produce, than the less of a nightmare. With initial writing, I like to explode as much with ideas as possible, make a manifesto, and then give myself strict goals to take in whatever nonsense or masterpiece I created. This for me in writing is actually one of my favorite parts. At that point, I can see what's happening globally, and it's satisfying when I can make tiny, split changes that can impact the whole of the script in masterful ways. I'm not really sure I agree with micromanaging; I think that could demonize a script... what I'm saying is polishing, rather... cleansing. If I was really on my A game tonight I could give an example of what I mean, but that's not coming to me easily, so I'll leave that for another time.

Writers of any trade need to have their hands dirty. I love watching series', reading, and reflecting on the library on my mind, but personally experiencing the world of the story can make a difference (if this is achievable). There's plenty I've written that I have never experienced. I mean, mind-reading characters who go inside demons? I am proud that I can operate in a normal routine day if I had that demon-browsing gift. Experience and understanding are vital. If you understand emotions, I think the writing will thank you. I'd say 99.9% of my favorite parts of the visual medium have some correlation with the emotions that were delivered. Writers need to step away from the computer and go on adventures. We need to process through emotions and not be controlled by them either.

13. Writing Horror

There's the age old saying to write the comedy to get to the drama, and just as equally, write drama to get to the comedy. Horror is one of the few genres that rarely hits the bullseye. I don't think enough people are brave enough to write in it; also, there's not enough people who are brave and know how to write well in it. Horror isn't just about blood and guts, ghouls and ghosts, or Halloween and... Christmas.

I think we should write horror to get to the revelation. I think we have to face our darkest fears, break them down, so that we can find the hope and realize that these blood mongering villains have nothing on us. There's so much about fear and doubt that's informative, but we miss out on it. We'd rather fill up our lives with noise than face the inevitable conclusion that we are all destined to death. Without the recognition that we'll all die, I think we become complacent, selfish, and misguided. We should be living with purpose, and I do think there's more out there than just living in a flesh body whatever that context happens to be, but if we can't look at the dark pit of nothingness I think we then let it control us. I think horror is about that tension: about living and not living -- a rope that some would call faith, by no means a "religious" faith, but something I think is much deeper. It's the ladder in the pit, the light in the darkness, or the tiny bit of baking soda in the batter. I don't know what that strand is behind it all, but I think forcing a name on it might just reduce it. Faith works, except that word has been somewhat watered down by the zeitgeist and the counter zeitgeist.

I used to be petrified of scary movies. I used to think of all the classic scary things before going to bed. I think I was faced with reality at some point, and came to the conclusion that: ghouls are not as scary as humans. I think horror should be used to help reveal how we as a species are often the trauma inducers and perhaps through storytelling we'll realize what we can do to stop. I think more of life is a horror tale than a comedy or drama, but we've gotten stuck with cliches (vampires, werewolves, and zombies) to the point that we don't recognize the terrible things that are right in our faces.

Truth be told, with the pilot I'm writing that has no series title at this point, I didn't envision such a world of psychological thriller and horror. I wouldn't want the whole series to follow that direction either. I think it would tank and lose momentum if it tried to be a creep fest every episode. I would prefer that each episode conveys a different aspect of the story world in and of itself. I don't think it can flip gears drastically from say a comedy one week to a musical... that's nauseating. More like, there's a time for developing romance, suspense, and adrenaline pumping action. Sure, all three can be in one dose, but it's perfectly okay to slow down and focus on one character and the quirky world they have -- I mean, a whole episode dedicated to Mr. Jibbs could be heartfelt. I wouldn't expect each episode to be near as scary as what seems to be coming to the dinner party for the pilot. If it was an ideal world, and all my ideas came out in perfectly written words in a breath of air and all of this story from my mind was given to angels to produce, I'd say I want this story to be told in a way that's daring to be meaningful, desperately seeking for innocence in a world that's lost it, asking deep questions that leaves an audience hanging, brings back old classic stories, gets people talking about spirituality and science, and gets people to question the reality they're in. I really want the thought provoking and the heart throbbing. I wouldn't expect less. I'd like to share these characters with more people. I think it gives the characters more life. It almost seems selfish to just keep them to myself when they could inspire people. Also, it would be pretty stinking cool to see some of these characters played out. I mean, Lise? I would kill for a part like that.




 

12. Emotions

In much of our rational thinking, people treat emotions as though they are the ignorant sister of the mind. If there's one thing I really dislike about society today, it's that we devalue emotions while also constantly trying to shake up those around us for generally an unnecessary sake. There's too many I know of who think emotions are beneath them and also quite a handful who are consumed by their feelings. To neglect emotions is foolish, and to let them control yourself is just as bad.

I love film because I think it's still a safe place to explore emotions. I think I've learned a great deal about the people around me and the types of experiences they've had through visual storytelling. In fact, the best stories I can name have the best emotional pacing. It isn't so much about the lighting, the editing, even the writing (to be honest) it's about revenge, anger, sadness, joy, and everything in between. I think the writing, editing, and camera work are tools to help bring out emotions and thoughts. A blinking, glorious red light is nothing without the emotional heartbeat behind it. A well written murder is nothing if the characters and audience are unconnected to it. (I have no idea how you can write a well written murder and forsake the audience.) I think in a world that wants to suppress the human soul whether through legalistic actions or crazy amounts of license to the point of no longer knowing one's self, the United States in particular has the chance to show stories of freedom and really speak to those parts of the world that don't have the same tolerance, opportunities  or luxuries. Of course, in an ideal world luxury would be a human right; here in reality however, perhaps we should extend what we have in luxury to those who may be less fortunate. Storytelling in the United States is vital; it's one of the few mediums going out into the world to help display emotion and give us all the chance to have emotional awareness and the enlightenment emotions have for us all. Without creative expression, I think we've lost a big part of our souls.

With writing, any scene that does not strike an emotional beat should be removed. We don't need soulless scenes; everything needs to work together as a body and so we don't need extra legs, extra arms, or bodies without hearts or brains. In writing, it's an incredible balancing act. Stories should be where the audience with ease can pick up on the emotions of the characters even if that character is being newly introduced. We want to get inside their heads and their hearts and we should be going deeper with each step. There should be power in the depth of the movements, otherwise I dare to bargain that there are missed opportunities. The scenes need there beginning, middle, and end -- but what does that mean? It means we should see emotions being introduced, changing, and ending in a new place than when the scene began.

In rewriting, I think it's important to freeze frame each scene and ask the vital questions of: what emotion is being carried for these characters in this scene? Does this link to all the other scenes? Is this being carried out for the whole of the story? If not, then what is it's purpose? From there, either it needs to have life written into it or deleted. Action sequences need emotion. Some of the best action sequences will fall short if the emotions are not met. I love the Kill Bill films and after watching the confrontation of the Bride and O-Ren I have to say the scene is less about fancy action but more about the intense emotions that have built up inside the characters. Both are valiant. I find it difficult not to be wrapped up in them. But there's very little action at all. In fact, there's a ton of time spent on close ups of the characters faces, and even wide shots where there is little to any movement. Before this was a slice fest to get to the ultimate boss, but this scene at the end resonates deeper -- it's the true gold, not the fight with the crazy 88s (even though, that marks up a strong sense of emotion as well).

I hate senseless violence just as much as the next person. I hate senseless deaths in literature too. I think it's terrible if you've killed off a character and it's not felt. With the above Kill Bill scene, the death of O-Ren is sad. Earlier we received her origins story; she's really been built up as a strong character, and though we are fighting for the Bride all the way through -- I think there's a part of us that doesn't want her O-Ren to be finished. Yes, there's a time where the audience is on edge waiting for the hero to at last kill the beast, but when you can manipulate the audience to love the villain and wish to see more of the bad guy, you've done an expert job.

Emotions are really what you're writing and reading. Words are just there to help organize it; they bring out the subtext, rather, the real stuff that matters. As a species we have had times without writing systems, so we have to ask ourselves what was it in those orally passed down stories that mattered so dearly to our ancestors?

I think you should be able to pick any scene and describe it in one core emotion. Sure, there may be other competing emotions, but what is the strongest? What is the voice we need to hear? A good screenplay should have pieces of horror, humor, romance, tragedy, and action. The audience should be afraid, laughing, wooed, teared-up, and on an adrenaline high. It may be difficult to mix it altogether, but without one of those emotions it's like missing vegetables, fruits, grains, or meat in a diet.

I can't preach on it enough. Emotions have to be there. They separate the good scripts from the excellent scripts. Not knowing your emotional pacing lends itself to an unrendered disaster. And that's not just a truth for writing -- not knowing your emotional pace in life will lead to chaos.    

11. Writer's Sabotage

Been there. Done that. Gone back for seconds.

People sabotage themselves daily. I think it's one of the more difficult walls one has to face because you have to be honest as to why in the world you are slitting your dreams.

There's two forms of sabotage:
1. Direct sabotage
2. Indirect sabotage

Both are lethal to the writer. One of the most important parts for a writer is to be well equipped for battles. As instructors of writing I think often times we lure human bodies to just get to writing, but not necessarily tell them what monsters are hovering over them to prevent them from excellence. As with direct sabotage, sometimes we do in fact corrupt our own writing. I would attest that there are two main causes for this: (1) a fear of failure; and (2) a more potent fear of success. I think there's this false idea that if one doesn't write then he or she cannot fail or succeed; therefore, one does not have to deal with the weight of the consequences. We screw up great opportunities all the time because it overwhelms us. At the end of the day, because we know it could change whatever status quo we've found. On the other hand, failure of course can put a dent in the ego, and I think for a more mature writer this may be less of a concern since in theory she should desire criticism so as to learn what mistakes she has and eventually grow. I'm more concerned about the fear of success.

I've already seen plenty in my life that were fully capable of taking on the planet but let the wind carry them another direction. I've seen men with options of beautiful women to date but instead vied for the Velmas from Scooby Doo, simply because... the idea of a successful woman was too daunting (load of crap indeed, but more baffling than anything else).

You should never stop working. Writing... I'll bargain with you on giving yourself a break so you can recover. But at the very least, you should be doing research. Immerse yourself into the genre of what you are writing or do the opposite so as to lighten your own spirit or you could also contextualize two seemingly unrelated worlds into a beautiful whole. Regardless of what weight you have in life, keep thinking about your story world in your mind. Internalize it until it's what is pumping through your veins. Once your body knows it's surviving off story, and the one that you're feeding it, it will crave that story through and through. Kind of sounds absurd, right? If you can't write a sentence worth crap then make yourself daydream about your story world and the characters for at least an hour a day. Think about it in bed if you refuse to get up -- then you're not so lazy resting there! You are using your noggin and exploring it in complex ways. Try exercising and thinking about your story world at the same time so your body doesn't become sedentary, and this can also have similar muscle building responses for your mind.

Indirect sabotage in my opinion has to do with the other aspects of your life bleeding over to the point that it cuts into your writing time. This can be controlled to some degree, but at times tragedy happens and sometimes celebration's necessary too. Also, you do occasionally need to pull away from words to be with people. Without knowing people -- what really resonates with their hearts and minds -- how do you expect to reach them with a story? Sometimes the best ideas and truths are going to come from everyday conversations from beautiful, perfect strangers. I deplore nonfiction writing in fiction, so I encourage you not to use your personal life for vignettes of scenes. If you must, that's your own business. But I think you should pry yourself away from this practice to expand your writing capabilities.

Besides sabotage, you know what's the most annoying phrase I've heard in writing since a kid? Push the envelope. I hate it. How far does this magical envelope have to be pushed? I think we need to stop thinking in merely wide terms and go more vertical, go deeper in our search and quest for the inspirational, the transcendental, and the beautiful. Personally, if you're going to go for rancid violence or sex (these are fine avenues, but often what people are referring to in the 'envelope') it better be well connected to the point of the plot or (as stated on a previous post) it's pointlessness. If you're going to push the envelope make sure to dig deep at the same time; both axes are needed for strong storytelling.

10. Tips from Poetry that are Applicable to Screenwriting

I'm going to steal some tricks from the poetry kids.

1. Your first line needs to grab attention. I'm not sure if this is as critical in screenwriting as it would be in poetry, but I think the first page of a screenplay should be enough to keep the reader turning to the next page. Get straight to the point. Don't dilly-dally. Keep to four lines. Make your characters be quiet if they're being loquacious. Open it up in a different way. Thousands of people have had to read the same bloody nothingness. Avoid alarm clocks and other cliches. Put your characters inside a giant talking teddy bear that's about to explode! In media res it up. Don't wait for the action to happen, start on the action.

2. According to the poetry kids, you need to earn your fireworks. Make sure you are giving enough attention and development to the plot being developed. If you jump quickly from a death, there needs to be reason otherwise it could end up sloppy, or cause the audience to lose emotion. There needs to be connectedness from miracle to miracle. I mean honestly, that's what a script should be -- stars (miracles) being connected into a constellation. Don't just place something in a room to be cute, use the gun if it's been mentioned. And perhaps use it in a way that we the audience were not expecting.

3. Be fresh. Avoid stale language and cliches. These poor readers who are coming across your scripts have seen many of the same darlings you've dabbled with. Cliches are really placeholders that beg for better ideas to take their place. You could easily have your main character wake to an alarm clock, then upgrade it to a rooster, then upgrade it to a robotic chicken. I think going even bigger would be helpful. If we keep making the same boring product, we'll bore the audience. So get rid of the crusty ole' cliches. Astronauts in space? Try astronauts on go-karts. Or try astronauts in your house waking you up with robotic chickens.

4. The next is... was the audience actually moved? Was their a refusal to transcend or did it actually transcend? Regardless of the originating material, a piece should go well and beyond just the simplicity of someone's first relationship. Big Fish transcended what would we think of as normal reality, and yet it feels heartfelt (at least to me). One of my favorite scenes from this film is when everything freezes at the circus and the Ewan McGreggor character is the only one who can move and he tries to make it to his future wife, but time catches up and everything speeds away. It's relatable! Even if we know deep down that time generally (I'm keeping some hope here) doesn't move that way.

5. Endings in my opinion are the most important part. They are the payoff. They are the gift of it all. I've seen transformative endings that went well above the mark. Endings shouldn't feel like something was slopped together and taped at the end. They should be organic and yet well connected to the rest of the piece, as if it was always meant to be. No, everything doesn't need to be wrapped up. Anti-climatic is a big no-no. What tends to work is have the ending play off the opening three pages. It really is all in the ending, just as in our own lives it is all in the death. What is behind the door of death? Or have we even begun to live? Is this all just an epic prelude? A terrible ending can destroy the rest of what may have been seemingly perfect. Unless you're making a sequel, don't try to go a whole new direction at the end. I think knowing the ending before writing is important. If you don't know the destination, you may end up in the wrong place entirely with not enough gas to get to the real end.

9. Tease and Act I

I am on blog entry #9, although should it be #10? I'm losing track of my weeks. Too many days are blurring together.

To my joy, with this absurd pilot, I wrote my tease and first act in 14 pages. The tease met a perfect five pages. There are a total of 39 scenes. And in these first 14 pages, 12 main characters are introduced. I would like to say, regardless of how strong this first run happens to be, that is a feat. My biggest concern is that with such tight writing that such a great deal of compression took place that I might not be screaming as much white as may need be. White as in page participles without words. Not some other white concept.

Over this fall break, my muse has been spouting off gold, so I've pushed myself to write further into the script than usual. I like to keep to deadlines and not go too far ahead because then I feel like I'm not appreciating the pages I should be focusing on. This time however, since the muse came knocking on the door, I decided I would just keep pushing forward until I tire myself out.

My future self will thank me when I realize that the more difficult action descriptions have already been mulled through. I want to keep bursting with creativity; whatever source it happens to be I want it to keep on flowing. Many of the variables of this pilot were already set in my mind long before thinking of the script's plots. I knew my characters and story world intimately. What's been fascinating for me is seeing how my mind develops an idea, then translating into an outline, and then translating into the script. This has been one of the better processes I've had in keeping all these different mental mediums together. I was pretty pleased with the outline, but now writing the script has this euphoric feel to it. I'm excited to get to the later acts when admittedly I found the tease and first act the weaker parts of the whole deal.

Clarity of vision here is helping me substantially. I think knowing the story in my mind in a deliberate, organized has allowed me to write, at least in this first attempt, with more ease. I think these past 2+ years in graduate school have served me well. I think they were perhaps what I wanted all along when I moved to Springfield.

I recently watched an interview with writer Amy Tan. There were some brilliant pieces of advice that she offered. One of the best was that creativity is a form of survival. She commented that through her painful situations it was creativity that was needed and that she began to explore her craft in more intensive of ways. I definitely think there is validity to this. A number of artists have attested to the same reason for creative energy. I don't entirely understand, and I don't recommend forcing a tragedy for results either. I think when we are suffering, more aware of death and the finiteness of life, we war against these terrors with as much beautiful thought as we can muster almost as to say death has no hold on us. Unfortunately, these more sour events can also distract us from actually committing to our work.

I think one of the obvious reasons why creativity is so helpful is it allows in some sense for the mind to process through whatever event has befallen. Personally, I think much of these underlife experiences for the writer don't always bleed out into the world they create. Perhaps with less developed writers this is more evident where it's easy to tell in a short story how it all connects to someone's fear of rejection, the death of a father, or some heinous crime. I think I could easily write a short story with a whirlpool of meaning about pigs playing poker and no one would know it's really about, as a figure of speech,  how I've had a broken heart for several months. For me, that kind of writing is joyous. I don't expect that for all. And some stories may be great where the writer's tragedy is clear throughout the narrative. At the end of the day, before I get lost in the absurd, I think it's important to remember that there is a correlation between creativity and survival.

One last side note with story writing and craft, I saw Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes which is one of the bands I used to help me figure out the protagonist of this whole mess. I couldn't find Caden in writing. It was in innocence, music, and bizarre art that I've been able to piece this character because I haven't seen this in television or film yet. I could only hope that something as beautiful as what I'm envisioning for this character could be portrayed through my writing and beyond. I think seeing the Edward Sharpe band let me know that what I'm sensing in my gut for this character is right. I really felt like the 12 piece band I saw out in the middle of Kansas City on some cold night in fall -- is honestly the encapsulation of Caden. Cool.

8. Marketing More So...

I think film (as well as many creative venues) will be experiencing changes of transition for the next 10, 15, to 20 years. I find this exciting and it is clear that the digital age is what's shaking up the scene. I think it's pertinent for all creative pioneers to study the status quo while thinking ahead; my bet is there will be more of a push for self-publishing and self-promoting. More people are relying on the internet and less on their televisions; as with once upon a time radio loss favor to the dawn of television.

I would love for more markets outside California to be created. For one, then I wouldn't have to move near as far. Also, I think if we have more markets than we'll see less of a monopoly on ideas as well as more representation of ideas we haven't been as exposed to (i.e. different countries portray films in different ways -- as do states). I love that New Mexico is pushing for people to come their way. Granted, it's going to take awhile before I think another market in the U.S. can even compare or be as organized and efficient as L.A. I have a friend who is a SAG actress and she's out in Austin loving it, but her gripe is that for where community should be building there's too much disorganization in an area that seems to be thriving off independent movements.

My thought is that with more online networking and writing opportunities through the internet that the underground will be able to make itself clear throughout concentrated areas in the country and that the writing community is going to face the problem of: an even more overabundance of writers fighting while also more chances to be heard / recognized against the masses. The internet is getting better all the time. If we reflect back to the 90s when e-mail was hotmail, moving GIFs were everywhere, and chatrooms escalated... we can see that the once toddler industry is gaining speed and maturing. Research for me as a graduate student has substantially more ease in comparison to not only the "time before the internet" but even 10 years ago, or 5 years ago. Bottomline: access is changing. I think it's of value to look on a more economical view for this blog post (rather than some theoretical ideas I like to toss around) so as to be practical and also innovative.

I think there's three essential ingredients for the writing business: (1) have excellent writing skills, (2) have connections, (3) be organized. If you can't write or haven't gotten up to speed on where you need to be -- what are you doing? And if you can write the most eloquent masterpieces for society -- granted you may not want them published -- though if you want any profit... you'll need an agent / publishing house / somebody who knows somebody.

Self-publishing seems like a more practical avenue than ever. The websites for this are taking off and booming. In just the past five years, it's become far more of a feasible approach. Lastly though, I think it takes some amount of a battle plan both in what you are going to write and who you are going to use to get the word out there to be published.

Organization and time management are screenwriters best friends. These are the kind of best friends that you fight with and can take you down a notch or two. But without them... you are a lonely, wandering mess without a sail. It's important to come up with goals on how much you will write, how the beast will be structured, and how you plan to market the sucker.


 

7. Rewriting for the Screenplay

I love rewriting. I love it because it invites for the writer to dig deeper. Whether your first draft was total crap or you've already got a pretty good piece -- rewriting brings in a whole new level of direction. It's like going to an eye doctor with what you thought were already good eyes and leaving with X-ray vision with lasers shooting out your sockets. It's the holy ingredient for writers.

I have a few tricks up my sleeve for rewriting screenplay drafts. I think it's important to be objective, not completely abandoning any sense of emotion or soul, but honestly being able to be critical. It's important first to come up with a plan before hacking away at any draft; otherwise, you might miss what exactly is the true problem. Always set goals for yourself -- I am a big believer in setting up goals that are impossible that way you'll end up pushing yourself as far as you can to where you actually need to be. One of the better goals to stick with is coming up with a rough number of how many words you need to cut. No matter the script, it's probably not in the most lean shape it could be. By committing to word cutting, you're doing your script a favor and getting out fat that's unnecessary. This also allows you're already stronger points to become even stronger because they're not watered-down by less salient ideas.

Look for words that you keep repeating and replace them with fresh, original words. Especially verbs. I tend to make my characters run all over the place, so I have a thesaurus ready for when they need to gallop, dash, and explode out the door. Occasionally, I goof up and put some archaic word in the mix, but it's not something to cry over. Most situations are "spilt milk" situations, especially in writing, so don't get your feelings too estranged. Be willing to face the problems and cure them. Honestly, learn to love the problem children. Not just in writing, but in life. You'll find yourself a whole lot happier. Holding onto the crap in your writing is pointlessly selfish. You have to be willing to grow. So find the inner attitudes that speak to you and make them happy so that you're not writer-blocking yourself into an idle corner.

Another important lesson: on a separate document, give percentages of how much is totally being written per character (for the whole of the draft). This will be revealing in who you may be favoring, and perchance, who you shouldn't be favoring. If the protagonist of the script isn't getting the highest percentage, you have a problem. Now, if you have multiple protagonists this could be another story; you do need to decide who is the meat, the cornerstone of it all. For instance, Frodo needed his space; the other characters in the Lord of the Rings series did too -- but it's his journey that gives meaning. Without him, the whole show fails. How are we supposed to experience the wrath of the ring without Frodo? Perhaps Gollum? The two in many ways are one in the same, but Gollum is really there to shine light on Frodo's character. He isn't a direct mirror to Frodo; Gollum has his own story and through Sam and Frodo listening to him and giving empathy the trifecta of drama deepens.

Lets move away from LOTR. The whole point of rewriting is to dig deeper. If we as writers just stop at the same wall and never push past it, we will continue to struggle to come up with new, invigorating ideas that challenge and enlighten society. It's not because I'm a perfectionist that I think that writing can continually be better; it's that I believe there's infinity out there somewhere -- and so there's always room to reach farther. My cluttered room which hardly bothers me while I write this entry shows that I lack in the perfectionist department.

We have to see past the tropes and the cliches. When rewriting, make sure to go through and ask yourself deeply how you are being cliche. We don't need to see people waking up to alarm clocks anymore. It's been visually incorporated so many times that in my own life I want to create a new alarm clock system to rid myself of this tireless ritual. Cut to the chase and don't dilly-dally with white walls. There's a gigantic appetite right now for creativity, and for creativity to be a solution to problems small and large. By offering the same panacea in stories we're essentially showing the public the same mathematical formulas they already know. How many times do we have to teach them about 1 + 1 equalling 2? Perhaps endlessly? I suppose it's necessary to anchor in the basics...

Instead, I think we need to apply the basics and go beyond so as to find the most inspiring formulas for storytelling. If we settle for our ideas on love from 1970s dating books, alas, we will continue the same relationship mistakes as a society when we really could be curbing domestic violence, rape, women seen as second-class citizens, etc. Romance is written so poorly these days and is unfortunately so much of what people attempt to imitate and then project that I wonder incessantly on how we can make progress here so as to have better fulfilled relationships. Personally with writing, I don't let my characters fall in love willy-nilly. They have to fight for it, and I mean, literally speak through the white paper vortex to me and say how much they need love before I cave because it's a terrible injustice to take a perfectly rounded, diabolical character and ruin them by putting them in a flat romance. This is actually my number one pet peeve of television and film alike. 90 some odd percent of the time the writers don't get how to really write romance and make the characters sweat for it. This is creating a void of missed opportunities for true character growth development. When the relationships need to rise, they will, for it's inevitable chemistry. Seriously though, separate the love prospects from each other and let history build until at last there's no other option but for love to be the door to open. Otherwise, you're playing risks with being anti-climatic. Therefore in rewriting, make sure to check that your characters have the relationships and growth that they deserve. (Refuse the fast food written development and shoot for organic storytelling.)  

6. Writing / Pyschology

I’m not sure that I would agree with everything that I’ve wrote in this blog this semester. My thoughts are constantly developing, which I would prefer. Just as rewriting is important to writing rethinking is important to thinking. I know this is random, but I have found in the past week a distaste for the current standards in psychology and scholastic testing. I think we have some dark implications in the way that society is framing the mind and perhaps creating more problems than answers -- I saw the movie “The Master” and it ignited this disturbance in me. What I would call “false psychology” is more than likely all around us. I believe all of our minds face disorder to some degree and there is no such thing as a perfect mind. Yes, some of us are more sane than others and perhaps do not suffer from disorder in profound ways. I am tired of how we’re trying to fit each person into a box whether with what kind of ailment a person’s mind has or through standardization tests. To some degree these placements are helpful, but in some ways we are limiting ourselves.

Standardized tests base too much of their scale on finding the average. If you want to find the average and place people to that average, than more than likely you’re not finding as many outliers or how those outliers operate. I think if we set people up more so to have an “A” game than they will rise to the occasion, but setting them up in a test to prove averageness will do just that. Yes, these tests do find those that are both less than average and genius, but I think many people are not caught by these nets even though they may prove to be intelligent or in need of correction.  

I think one of the reasons I like fiction so much is because it takes a much greater lens to defining character than perhaps our non-fiction methods of standardization and pegging mental handicaps to people. Psychology is in a developing stage, and I do not wish to slander it seeing as how there have been a great number of problems solved as well as there are good psychologists out there. I am concerned that we may be improperly categorizing the mind, which has happened such as the case with sexuality. I’m concerned that there are other cases of this and we may be placing people as flawed when they may be in fact carrying a gift. In a roundabout way, this is why I think writing matters. I believe writers should be questioning the status quo and bringing out the real character behind what a great deal of people do not understand because they do not experience it themselves. The Yellow Wallpaper was simply a short story, but due to this story the perceptions on how to treat women with similar mental conditions did in fact change. Writing, storytelling, film -- all of it -- has the power to give a greater sense of awareness, empathy, compassion, and the like. I think this is a pretty big deal and has been one of the roles of the writer since words came into fruition. 

The field of creativity has one of the most important roles in society whether people acknowledge it or not. I think creativity can be taken advantage of, per say, propaganda, motivating poor behavior, and the like. There’s no telling how people will interpret art and so people shouldn’t stop making art simply because of outlier maniacs. I would like to see, however, more creativity being used to break down staunch perceptions that are holding us back as a society or even for creativity to solve problems the bigger problems the world is facing. We have some of the most bizarre and escalating problems the world has ever seen; I think through writing we can help bring out awareness and start to stop the tide of terror whether the sex trade, environmental decay, war, famine, AIDS, economic collapse, etc. It’s through changing our perceptions to overcome ignorance that we can be more vigilant to prevent crisis. We need more people to be enabled and rise to the occasion rather than be satisfied with the status quo. Complacency will be my own generation’s crime if we refuse to step up to the plate and take on real problems whether of the individual mind or larger global arena. 

Sure, as for writing and how it could apply to world problems or even solve them may sound unrealistic. I beg to offer a different opinion in that without trying to build messages on awareness then we as a people are going to be too uninformed to curb crisis. This is one of many reasons why I think storytelling is important and integral to solutions. Fahrenheit 451 with its absurd need to protect literature hits me profoundly because I think we should be fighting for our literature because these texts are what frames us and our thinking. 

I take building characters seriously. It’s through these vessels that the audience can begin to see themselves and those around them and perhaps take action in their own collective world. No, I do not expect to build a polyglot of saints; what we need is stories that are willing to be truthful to what we know and also progressively re-inform our quo. 

    

5. Writing Habits

My favorite time to write is when everybody is gone. Sometimes I turn off all the lights and use candles. I try to make it a relaxing experience and to cut myself away from the world. I love late nights and super early mornings. I have caught myself writing when the sunrises and then going to bed. I prefer schedules where I have mornings off so I can do this, and then catch up with my day later if need be. This is one of my favorite ways to write, but I think the trick is writing even when you're surrounded by noise. By writing in silence I'm able to teach myself some of the tricks that relax me, but writing in busy computer labs or on airplanes is possible if I can hone in on my brain. I tend to be more in my head than my physical reality anyway, so it's not the most distracting to be around peers, folks, or strangers. It's when that personal, private life decides to catch up and throw a curve ball. I enjoy solving problems and processing through them. I try to keep things lights, so if I delve into the heavy the main culprit is I've probably overloaded myself and thus it's an internal battle.

Airplane writing is a blast. I think my imagination goes into high gear when I'm flying 1,000s of miles above the planet. International flights are the best; there's far more interesting people to watch, there's only so many things I can do on a 7 or more hour flight. Only problem is laptops have limited battery power and handwritten notes are great until you have to spend extra time typing them up. When flying with the sun and there's the odd time difference, I can't help but think in deeper of ways. Every time I fly over the ocean I wonder what it was like for the early pioneering pilgrims to sail for three months just to make it to a new world. All my flight journeys are less than a day, but centuries ago my ancestors spent whole seasons on potentially life or death voyages. And while flying who knows what they are flying over from beasts deep below in the ocean, animals on the ground, or birds in the air. It's a whole lot more compelling than driving around Springfield.

I also have a confession. I dance frequently when I write. I don't know how this started; it's ridiculous. I suppose it's a great idea because it keeps me active rather than sedentary. Dancing frees up my mind. It enables me to focus on what I need to visualize story wise. I find that if I'm thinking beyond a 12 minute session than I've probably found myself beyond a short project. Real time definitely correlates to   page length for me. These ridiculous dance skills have improved over the years -- I've almost fooled myself into thinking I could be a dance choreographer. I also think about being an astronaut, so I don't always take my fancies seriously.

Eating has a unique relationship with the way I write. I avoid caffeine because I think I may be the most sensitive person on the planet. Sure, it can give me breakthroughs in ideas or 30 pages in a sitting, but I think whatever chemically I am sees it like most would speed. I'm already a fairly high energy person, but I try to avoid anything that will throw me off because it's usually explosive amounts of distracting joy. I am the weirdest person... sticking to healthier eating habits and curbing caffeine keeps me on task.    If I can spend a week just eating vegetables and drinking water it tends to have better focus and health results all around.

4. Ramblings II

This is more of a loosely two part blog with the previous entry (read the one recently added below this fine tale). How this two parter came to be, I don't know.

When I was younger in grade school, I refused to acknowledge my fuzzy vision. I don't think I wanted to face the fact that I was aging and my eyes were already losing focus. In many of my classes, I could get away with this, except for math. I would try to sit in the front row, otherwise I would have to squint, and I didn't want an eye exam with a sweaty, all-too-close doctor. Eventually, I had to face the problem so as to have it corrected. My math grades flourished instantaneously. There's been an ongoing battle with a dear friend of mine who has a similar problem, except instead of popping on clear shades to solve it, I think I've truly begun to realize what he means by "lacking in focus." Where mine was more of a physical struggle, his is more internal with the mind.

There are many cries for help that go unnoticed because we don't relate to the problem because we're not experiencing it ourselves. When I say I'm out of focus, it's not generally a crisis. It went unnoticed for me for several years that I'm at more of at a... more advanced level than what school perhaps initially indicated. I could go on about how I think schools' don't nurture young minds properly, but that entire system is so vast it may just be like throwing sand into the ocean.

In my case with focus, I struggled with over thinking. In many standardized tests growing up, I excelled up to a point, the point in which I would end up leaving to throw up. Now, I didn't really take notice of this till I was much older that this was a unique happening in my childhood. Personally, I just felt like all the time I was super sick and sensitive. For the most part, I was a happy bouncing kid; I was also the worst to make an insult toward since I would understand the insult all too well. Since I would be sick randomly in these tests, I was often placed in different groups throughout school from generally regular to advanced (to occasional remedial sessions that would last about an hour, and then they'd send me away.) Through being in a wide range of classes and meeting different peoples I became observant of all kinds of quirks -- perhaps giving me the general key to understanding people around me today. In the seventh grade, I was found to have unusually high writing skills.

To be honest, I didn't really care about my writing skills then. I thought everyone could write. Writing seemed like the most basic, instinctual aspect one could have. I am still somewhat baffled that people can't write even if I have worked as a writing tutor and have met quite the demons in prose. Everyone and their dog should be able to write. I didn't say everyone should be a best seller, but basic writing skills I think that's something we all deserve... or should strive to have.

It was the unusually high writing skills found in the seventh grade that sounded the alarm. I went from the seemingly drawl classroom settings into a series of advanced ones. I began to realize that the reason standard exams were grueling on my mind is because at a younger age I was using critical thinking skills not to be expected till later. I asked more of the questions being given to me than necessary and would make connections that would go way too deep. Sometimes I marked out questions and rewrote them to find clarity or point out how the question made was giving way to more answers than I could circle.

I eventually got my own mental fugue sorted and found a system that worked for me in school. Most snags haven't been due to a lack of ability, but rather personal life situations getting in the way. I left college after freshmen year for a semester to go to Florida when crisis hit my family and my grades were not quite what they should have been. The family hoopla lasted the whole college career making it at times difficult to balance. The real knife of the situation hit after graduating when the facts of life caught up with me, and I realized the dissociation in emotions, an almost necessity, to get through school. This works up until you face emotional sequences in your writing prose and then you find yourself in writer's block. My cure: taking poetry.

With my own mental outlook and perspective the "issues in focus" that my friend has been saying for years wasn't and isn't the same battle that I face. Therefore, in pointing at what is the problem I didn't have enough knowledge to know what exactly he has been going through for ages. We all have obstacles in our way. There's no such thing as a perfect mind. Even the most brilliant ones have consequences for being so brilliant. I do think we are only seeing but a shadow of who we truly are; it's what my heart tells me, but again I do not have a perfect heart. I think we should try to reach for the stars as much as possible. We should also spend more time with those around us and try to really understand what's holding them back. It might not be the same experience you are having which can make it difficult, especially since each of us has our own individual mind.

On this same week, I went downtown and found out that a writing partner I had in my first screenwriting class had opened a bar. After all these years he remembered my barbaric attempt at screenplay writing and said to stay with it. I went to the Mudhouse and found a barista who had been hired only a week ago who also was once upon a time ago in a writing class with me and said the same note of "not forgetting to write." I don't know why these outliers made a difference in my day. Perhaps because I admire both of them. While going to yoga later in the evening, I was at a stoplight. I turned to face a building I once worked in; a writing job I had two years ago. It was the worst experience for me: soul-sucking to the point of insanity. But I was wearing a t-shirt from when I worked there, so granted, I didn't have that hard of feelings toward the company. I did realize that I require space to interact with people. I love writing, but not in a cubicle with strict measures to stay in my seat... for hours.

Sometimes the cubicles we are forced to be in is exactly what's holding us back from being our real authentic selves. I hope the cubicle will be lifted on my friend's "lack of focus." I hope I acknowledge the cubicles I do have and am willing to face them for correction rather than avoid them.

3. Ramblings I

So far this week is high on the "oddest week ever" in Silvey-town's life. I'm loathing that sentence with a harsh "eye squint."

I shouldn't be referring to myself as a town. Or should I?

And with that nonsense...


Last year, through studying too much theory on writing composition, I began to allow my mind to see the world in shades of gray (vampires you have ruined it all! I would never read in a thousand years such horrible, pedestrian rubbish!). Pardon my obscure interruptions this evening. Back to the point, rather than the beautiful gray one sees when things are a more "depends" outlook, I think I was lacking in my ability to accept the meaningful aspects of life and instead seeing theory to depict the often too familiar scope of "does anything really mean anything at all?"

With all the connections I'm seeing on a social scale add up with my own "A", "B", "Q" and "Z" plots, I am accepting meaning again. The universe is made more of dark matter than actual matter; I believe we are finding that the universe is actually in a black hole. I think ideally everything would be in light, and therefore everything would have reason and meaning. However, we are not in that universe so a great deal of life cannot be reasonable. Also, trying to figure out what the ideal universe is and if it even exists is one of the more profound quandaries that our minds are even capable of trying to solve. I'm more fascinated by what is meaningful in the midst of a great deal of darkness in the present than descending into the darkness and only accepting the meaninglessness as the frame to which we would paradoxically exist. I'm not a nihilist; I'm venturing not to be a sophist either. One ray of light in a field of darkness can overpower such a space.

Now that we've got my late night ramblings out of the way, lets apply my thoughts to writing. I think the responsibility of the writer is much greater than perhaps writers acknowledge. Writing to prove a theme of meaningless is counteractive; sure it's been done, but how do you even authentically gain this narrative when plot would still have to be present? If you have no plot then you have no meaning. Stories that are about meaningless, I think, are more about one's lost perspective. Writers are supposed to go through all the systems of pattern we experience (and potentially don't experience) and help organize these concepts into language so that these words give clarity. A graduate assistant I know once said, "It's through literature that I am able to frame and understand the events that are going on in my own life." We're not just placing down words. Words are labels placed over concepts, and these words have more meaning then that because they indicate social context through communities who share these words, and I'm sure a great deal more. I've said it before, and I'm probably repeating myself years later, but the goal of writing is to go out into the field of dizzying darkness and find the best pieces of light to bring back to the table; it's not just a matter of storytelling, it's a matter of problem solving. Through the written language we are able to dissect the great question of: "what is happening", to intimately understand "what is happening", and with great hope make the best educated guess on that pesky, eternal question.

Why do certain pieces of writing have lasting effects over generations? I think it's because they held such great meanings in theme that it touched our most needed aspects in the heart. Shakespeare is bloody confusing, but we buy into it because of how great his themes are and as we come to understand what exactly his plays were intending to say in theme we begin to see those 16th century situations still in motion today -- why else would we have West Side Story? I do believe in universal themes. Those are probably some of the strongest themes of all. Sure, there are idiosyncratic themes in generations. Then again, I question this because many times it's all the same formula but with different variables -- if the variables are different but end up with the same conclusions we've always had, then does that make themes the same regardless of variable or is theme in the variable? I believe theme is not in the variable but in the conclusion.

I know many want to explore space. I don't think we naturally are intended to since it wreaks havoc on the body, not to say though that we can't change our bodies so as to be able to explore space, but is this really progress or escapism? We can visualize and take care of space in our minds in just the same progressive and escapist way -- and it definitely has it's benefits so perhaps, in this riddled up mess I'm writing, we do need space travel. I think we operate on far more dimensions than we know. I'm thinking there's a possibility of infinite black holes and we are somehow within the black hole of a black hole of a black hole and so forth. Depressing thought, right? Or is it flat out cool? Light at the end of the day is far weirder still than darkness -- even if we are in multiple black holes. We like to consider ourselves enlightened when we gain knowledge, which to repeat once more, knowledge comes from years of language development in organizing and communicating with each to find truth.

Enlightenment is about finding meaning. Plot is about enlightenment. When we seek plot in our own lives the dots, rather constellations, will come together. Perhaps like a pulp where certain things come together more wholly than others, while the rest freely moves (thank you, Pulp Fiction). I think when we descend into darkness we fail to see how the dots connect. And there we have our thesis point... insubstantial plots don't have enough light. The light in it needs to be matured.

2. Character & Plot

I can't make conclusions about plot until I know my characters. The more extensively I am able to understand the strengths, weaknesses, and unique traits of the main cast (and auxiliary) the more I am able to pinpoint how they function on what I would call the "grid of life" AKA plot. This might not be how other writers work, but seeing character first helps me to know what exactly their problems or situations should be. I ideally think in visuals about what the character would experience, see a small zygote of an idea, and build from there. Preferably if I can daydream about a character for 12 minutes then I know I have something small enough to work with without it becoming a saga. If I can sit down and get my brain to make a story in one sitting than likewise it will probably be a work that's read in one setting. This is not always the case because sometimes you come across the perfect daydream that has enough juice to give electricity to the world, but there is some amount of ratio in how much I input into my thoughts that translates into length for number of pages.

As for plot, I see it as a  grid of freewill and predestination. In fact, fiction is the only real frame that has laid out what exactly those esoteric terms mean. I now see plot as strings that expand from left to right, but also can dip into more complex of dimensions besides 2D lines. I don't think it's the most stiff written into stone science, for there is some fluctuation as to where characters (and people alike) can end up treading on their path(s). There is some obvious indications where characters will go based off the paths they take; setting, symbols, and all around story world building can point to what will happen since there are only so many options from context, for instance, when you have a character at the bottom of a catacombs layering bricks on top of each other to trap a friend inside the reader / audience should be expecting grim conclusions. The Edgar Allen Poe short story I'm briefly touching upon has a distinct plot line that follows the descension master plot. Before the main character even begins touching bricks the reader should know that the story has dark, sinister, and morose implications simply based off how the story continually descends into further layers of... death and darkness. Furthermore the actual words chosen to depict that descent help to frame the story for the reader. The properties to help build plot allow for the audience to key into what's happening, such as the setting. The visual medium constantly gives hints as to "what is happening" in the plot. In fact, visual mediums beat the audience over the head with point; however, we often watch unconsciously until we are enlightened on the patterns and symbols before us. 

To me this helps to depict predestination. There are only so many master plots in storytelling; perhaps 20, maybe more, but those plots in and of themselves give hints as to the possible types of conclusions that will be reached. In a rescue plot we expect one of generally two outcomes: the victim will be rescued or the victim will not be rescued. Any number of other possibilities could happen, in fact bizarre ones like the rescuer becomes the victim, or the victim becomes the victimizer. But with this type of master plot we're definitely not expecting certain other outcomes such as a complete shift with penguins riding hot air balloons (more in lines with a quest / adventure), unless somehow that has to do with rescuing: it more than likely is a red herring or unrelated. The characters still have myriads of choices, and I think the writer needs to listen to the character and allow for it's own decision making rather than force characters to go the way an author requires. I think to help characters ring true we have to let them go into their own world and try not to take them by the hand too much. Sure, that may make no sense for writing since the writer puts every word on the page that directs action, so I think what I'm referring to is a step before writing. In order to let characters be free we have to be free in our imaginations. Fantastic dreams often are when the mind goes free of it's own course to process whatever deep unseated issues or fantasies it has. I'll soon get to how this is achieved for characterization, but I do think mimicking this dreaming for characters helps for them to have authenticity. Being open minded helps to get the perfect blend of formalized character (predestined) along with a more lively, untamable soul pulsating in its veins (the freewill). 

When I feel like I'm controlling my characters too much, I step away. Trying to take a screwdriver to them and force them to be what I want ends up in info dump dialogue and cliche actions. Instead of writing it's time to go back to thinking, daydreaming, imagination, and dreaming. One of the better strategies I have to break from writing is to lay down, close my eyes, and play music that reminds me of the character and then just let myself dream about a scenario with whatever decides to come up from that. Not only does this relax me, but it also generates far more substantial ideas than if I just stare at a blank white screen. To be honest, I don't even think there is a blank white screen in front of me. The problem is I'm too focused on what's before me in the physical that I can't see what's really going on in my head, so then it becomes a matter of silencing everything and really going into the character's heads and seeing what meaningful stories resonate from them.   

I must also admit that seeing fiction in this way and relaxing with it has also taught me a great deal on how to perceive life in general. If I recognize before hand what type of setting or decision making I'm entering myself into and it's not where I want to head, I respect what master plots are out there and I change my path.

1. Admitting to Weak Characters

I am excited to be writing on the script side again rather than prose, composition, or the like. I’ve needed to do soul searching to help overcome certain aspects in my personal life which formed walls around actually being able to write strong script. When I started this journal for the first time two years ago, many of my thoughts were coming from a critical and theoretical perspective, partly because that’s what I happened to be dabbling with. At this point, I’ve gained more in my writing perspective and definitely understand the form and theory behind the written universe to a greater degree than in my undergraduate years, which was based primarily off intuition and exposure to what I considered transcendental storytelling. (Granted, I really shouldn’t knock my critical / analytical skills from years past.)

 Honestly, one of the main reasons I decided to pursue graduate school was to have a more structural eye to the blueprints behind writing. I want to build a mansion with writing, not a coffee table. I think knowing the cogs working behind it all any art form will help one to become more skilled in said medium. I think for this semester my journal entries will hit more on storytelling and personal fictional areas that I seem to be consistently struggling with (now that I have a stack of unpublished papers that I can peak through to find patterns.) The critical theory eye is still present in me and will probably appear-- as it has for this entry.

 What I have noticed consistently is my struggle with protagonists. This is compelling because my entire story worlds are developed through dedicating a significant amount of time in developing first the main hero. On more than one account I’ve found my auxiliary characters growing beyond what was expected and in turn almost surpassing the foundational character to which they were technically born. I have a wall to break with the main character because in essence the entire universe I create is connected to them, but many of them (especially in my longer prose) are not finding enough zest, pizzaz, or zeal.
 Part of this may be due to the emotional distance I have with the focal character and my unwillingness to make them as vulnerable as some of their counterparts. I think handing more of the juicy, heart-throbbing sequences would help not only bring out the characters, but bring in closer audience attachment. Caden has been a character I’ve worked with since my teenage years (yikes). He’s actually one of eight that I’ve had in my head for nearly ten years -- and each of those characters has a completely different universe in which I could build, so if any of these stories takes off I probably will have enough ideas in my imaginative bank to write well beyond my own death -- sadly there’s no way all story ideas will make it outside my brain.

 Nothing would exist in Caden’s world without first him. But what is making him so difficult to stand out as clearly as perhaps the female leads, the villains, or even two dimensional side characters? That’s one area in my writing I want to explore and help transcend what it is currently. Perhaps some of the strife here is... Caden isn’t altogether human. The more human I can make him the more people will buy into that twist. He has a strong moral compass and is far more innocent than many of the other characters, which this plays heavily into his flaws since he can be tricked easily, be too heartfelt toward the weak, and too merciful to actually be bent on necessary justice.

 I don’t doubt this character will grow and end up triumphing over his cast. He is in more a state of blossoming, and perhaps the main hero needs more time to cook because the sense of direction they carry should be what leads the rebellion against the status quo which I think is what the audience wants to see. My amnesiac-invincible, celestial superhero literally has to contrast against the rest of the dystopian regime, but when in the same universe there’s Lise who in her own backstory has seen countless murders and is hanging onto the narrative track by a thread, it’s hard not to look at her and be caught up in the freedom she’s pursuing. Lise was originally created to fill a hole in a short story I wrote where essentially geometrically I was thinking of the space and felt it needed to have its points fixed by a brash, sexual, and desperate woman. She was mostly two dimensional, but I kept adding to her and kept listening to how the character wanted more plot. I came to her know in my mind as a good friend who I would meet in coffee shops to discuss politics, books, and religion. This character didn’t want to be left with poor detailing. I admit to spending too much time coming to know her narrative, as with her foil Rebecca who has just as much suffering but handles it with more grace and class.

 My goal will be to strengthen Caden. He needs to be the man we’re all searching to have in a world with few men left. Even if he isn’t altogether man -- he seems to think he is. He needs a stronger foil to help balance him out, and I think that’s why I keep being drawn to one of the last additions to this story world: Edgar. He’s the prince in this one world government, and I think though he is destined to be a part of the system that’s committing massive euthanasia for the sake of an elite immortality, I think he’ll fight against it because his moral compass is too loud, too distraught for meaning and purpose.

 In the end, maybe one needs to be the justice we need in humanity and the other is the coin of mercy. Caden’s destiny is to end the flawed system running the world, but maybe he is called to be a more tender warrior, a shepherd, a being so gracious that this quality in itself obliterates the makeup of a dry, decaying world.