Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Week #11 - Focus

I have had a hard time keeping up with my schedule this semester. Paying off bills, reading hundreds of pages of critical theory, writing daily papers. It's overwhelming. I've felt some amount of guilt in not being able to keep up. And what's more, I'm really feeling a strong amount of need for self-evaluation as I realize my departure from undergraduate and a strong childhood and into the unknown territory of adulthood.

All of this is pulping together. All aspects of my life are working in this way, which I think is being reflected in my writing, both in non-fiction and fiction. I feel like the strongest aspect of my life currently is the social aspect, which has always been positive since being in Springfield. This hasn't been the toughest part of college for me. I don't even know how I got through some semesters, but for whatever reason my mind keeps inquiring of what really matters. (What really does matter?)

I've been practicing piano, voice, and dance lately. I have a pile of French flashcards that I occasionally go through at night. I make all sorts of plans almost everyday to meet with people. I have a knack for friendship, this is a pretty clear discovery I've made in recent days.

I have so many fiction works sitting as drafts. I'm not even sure how many bills I have anymore, and I'm waiting eagerly to see if I'll be a graduate assistant next year which would greatly help with my financial wading through waters. Somehow last semester I had a dynamite run, but this time my mental state is completely different, not to say I've dumbed down, there's just a yearning for certain activities. I've found that I've neglected certain aspects of myself while being dowsed in study and also in walking alongside others.

My issue here is that I'm in a sort of limbo. Many people are leaving here and moving on while also others are entering my life or returning. I just completed one program, with much intensity from every life aspect imaginable, to wondering where I really need to go. It is so hard to focus. I know what I want, but there's about 256 things I want. I try to combine common goals so that I can at least obtain some of my dreams. I have so many dreams planned that my life here isn't going to complete it all, which I think that's the type of person I want to be -- having so many dreams that my life can't contain them.

The problem is that I'm overwhelmed with options. I think my generation is overwhelmed with options unlike any other generation before it. At this point, I could run off to just about any country, learn a million different things through the aid of the internet, and keep up with thousands of people. No wonder it's so hard to figure out what matters in this multi-tasking generation.

Being in graduate school will open more doors, and some of these doors I may not go toward till I'm in my 40s. Essentially, I'm having problems with focus. With this many variables in may landscape, I often don't know what to focus on so everything either gets to be connected and in the same ground or it all goes fuzzy. One object in frame with the rest in fuzzy land is somewhat distracting to me. But if I can't narrow my focus, I think everything will all meet the same level of mediocrity. Each subject will have to be taken in focus and allotted its time -- however, in seeing how these things connect, perhaps they can influence each other and cut down on my amount of time in each.

Either way, this semester can be summed up as a need for focus. I am certain I will accomplish the things I need to accomplish, however with that attitude it may end up sloppily. I'd rather each part be taken care of well and seen as a whole in influencing each other. Perhaps I'm just overwhelmed on what to focus on first.

As for writing, I'm having a hard time finding a center in just about everything I'm writing. It's a new kind of writer's block, one where I honestly don't know the picture I'm trying to convey. I have all the words in my brain, the concepts are there, and even the understanding, but necessarily how to put all the puzzle pieces together -- I don't know. I'm afraid my puzzle pieces are supposed to come together to make a picture of a pastoral scene but I'm ending up with a man-eating flower from the graveyard of some nuclear reactor incident. I need to focus on getting things into a pattern which fits the intended prompt.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Week 10 -- Story Telling

What have I learned about writing this week?

I just got feedback on my first pages, and yes, it was a complicated set.

Rewriting is no joke. The first draft of anything is usually one of the toughest hurdles. At that point, nothing is on the paper yet, and so you have to offer yourself a lot of material in order to work with. Writing is somewhat like working with clay, you mold it over time, rarely does it form into a perfect piece of pottery in one instance -- maybe it does.

Writers have to be willing with their work. It took Christopher Nolan nearly ten years to write out Inception, and still, there may have been opportunities for ironing things out. The frame of mind I like to take to art is: "What can I do to take this to its best level?" I like to think in terms of best, not perfect, good, or satisfactory, but best.

What I realize at this point about my own writing is that I have acquired much density with my words. I don't know if I can entirely avoid this. Last semester in short story writing, one of my critique partners consistently commented on how they were fascinated by my mind and the dynamite characters I created. However, at times... they got lost. But if I explained just a little -- everything became clear. I'm learning how to do a balancing act here. I speak generally with more than one or two meanings in writing. I've gotten a knack for layering. This layering is not only in my prose, but it's starting to appear in my screenwriting. This could be in my favor because it could help to make my language more concise, on the flip side, it could be making things more complicated than need be.

That's the thing, I enjoy complicated stories. They put a high level of degree on setting things up so that in the end the payoff has to be high too. If the payoff doesn't meet the mark, I'm disappointed. I can see clearly that I am setting myself up pretty high, and I don't expect to meet the mark the first couple of runs. I believe Steven King is right in that good writing is like an excavation, you have to carefully take the dinosaur bones out of the ground or else it all falls apart and you won't know how its all connected. With the wrong frame of mind, writing any story could be a disaster. But, if I take my time and really invest in knowing my characters, story world, and series of plots, than I think I will know how they are suppose to flow and most importantly, I'll know how to best serve them.

I like the subject matter that comes out of my mind. I will admit I have some pride in that I come up with some fairly intriguing magical stories. I think fantasy is one of the greatest places to showcase Campbell's steps to a hero's journey. Myth making is intended to be esoteric, to be larger than life, and to be exciting. What's the point of retelling anything if it has absolutely no redeeming emotional quality to it? Is there anything worse than boredom in storytelling?

I think not.

But I do want what's best for a story. I think in finding what is best for a story, the audience ends up feeling appreciated. And more important than money, they feel as if their time was well spent.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Week 9 -- A Mess, Honestly

I looked at a calendar. I believe I am supposed to be on week 11 so I'll do what I can to catch up.

Money gives one more options to buy things. The more money one has, the more one can expend. The less money one has, the less the person can buy.

Wicked simple logic.

I'm trying to apply this to writing. If having more money allows one to expend more, then in writing what does one need more of in order to expend?

I think it's a combination of:

1.) Time
2.) Experience (in real life too)
3.) Practice
4.) Education
5.) Discovering perspective
6.) Courage

Being a luxurious writer is a bit more complex than how many dolla' billz one has in their bank account. Wealth for the writer is counted in several different currencies. One may be lacking in one of the listed areas, but they may make up for it due to another quality, perhaps one not listed. In fact, some writer's methods may be lethal, just as some actors methods may open doorways into madness. The arts can be dangerous, even damaging. This is why it's important to know one's storehouses of knowledge rather than succumb to one side, one method -- that brings an artist to suicide.

My key here isn't to talk about the dark side of the artistic world, it's to give myself (and others) a practical eye on what can shape them as a writer. It's easy to leave a piece in its 16th draft in a desk drawer to collect dust. What's not easy is to keep going even in the face of obstacles. If one really wants to become a strong writer, this person should pursue it, and even when afraid to write -- continue forward. Instead of constantly being the critique of one's writing, it's best to love one's work even for its mistakes. Besides, mistakes are opportunities.

Lets look to the list I made and see why I chose those as (6) pertinent writing currencies.

1. Time:

Regardless of how one feels, we are all under the control of the clock. Everyone must face death. In order to be a strong writer, one must realize that it takes time. A perfect draft rarely (if ever) comes from the initial typing of words onto white space. It can take years until all of the story is untangled before one's eyes, before all the characters are shaped into the creatures that need be, and before the mind has finally excavated the material it drew upon to get to the heart of the story. A story is a maze and the author travels through it to find what needs to be told and what is the quickest and shortest path. You see, overtime a writer will find that certain elements whether characters, plot devices, and themes actually diminish the story and thus can be deleted. Whatever distracts one from getting to the end of the maze, is superfluous. The same goes with story telling. (But don't be too against tangents now; they have their purpose just the same.)

*If people are not going through this process, I don't know if they're challenging their selves enough to write excellent prose whether in the novella or the screenplay. Keep in mind, by challenging yourself in writing you will gain strength and stamina. By gaining these qualities, you will be able to race to the finish... more successfully and often.

2. Experience:

Experience is closely related to time. The more one writes, the more one becomes familiar with the rules. In the early stages of writing, grammar rules are memorized, but not until one picks up the pen do they actually intimately understand those rules, and more importantly, when they should be broken for the greater cause. One needs to experience the world before he or she can write about it or anything outside it. In any literary piece that's off Earth, there's still a need for reference, essentially, the reader and audience must relate with qualities even if they are beyond them. However, it is important to keep in mind that people can write about things they've never experienced: to presume otherwise is laughable. There are plenty of people who write about mass murderers but are as innocent as lambs. What I mean to say, is that even in the vacuum of writing, the writer needs to venture out, speak with various kinds of peoples, go to places down the street and even to far off places. Not only do these experiences help to define reality, they also help the mind in recalling information. For all writing is the providence of memory, down to the last character I am recalling a memory.


3. Practice:

Regardless of... I wish I had made this list shorter. I'm gonna make some real short sums here now.

If you don't write, how do you expect to actually figure this writing thing out? Perhaps you are "reading" in a well balanced diet. But just because you know the game's rules... doesn't mean you play well when in the arena.


4. Education:

I don't mean get a degree. You need to study up on good writing. I'll admit, knowing a thing or two from last semester's composition writing class improved my prose by about 300%. If you take the time to study good writing and why it's good writing than you've unlocked the secrets that you can use to benefit your own spectacular story. One of my favorite professors refereed to this as being: "narrative gangsters."

5.) Discovering perspective:

This is pretty close to #2. Except, I mean, you have to know a thing or two about the religious and political arenas of this world. If you want to have characters of varying perspectives, you need to know what perspectives, personalities, and traits exist. You can't find all the knowledge within yourself because sadly, you don't know everything. This is another place that I would like to say -- the writer needs to step away from the keyboard, preferably calmly, and with excitement.

*DISCLAIMER: you can learn the universe through pictures, books, movies, songs, and the like. In fact, I encourage these endeavors. But don't forget your social needs, those "social needs" can be beneficial in helping you with your writing.

6.) Courage:

You, my dear reader, are going to write garbage, grade-A barf, and incomplete gibberish. Who cares? Progress takes time. You have to have faith in yourself that from draft-1 to draft-9,243 that you will improve, that the story that's trapped in your mind will come out... and that you'll eventually learn how to write less drafts.

In film making, rarely is something done to perfection on the first take. But you keep going until you get the magic take. Your job is to make sure you have good shot coverage; it's the same with writing, your job is to get the best writing possible out of each word, paragraph, and chapter to complete an entire story. Each new draft is a new take. You have to rearrange the lighting, new blocking for characters, and new special effects. You keep playing with those components until it sparks.

Don't expect writing to be easy, effortless, and full of smiles. Sometimes it is effortless, but other times your characters will be just as difficult as people in real life. Keep your eye out for lessons, enjoy yourself, and do the type of writing you want to do. Even if that's so bold as to take a severance in pay, if you're not happy, then you need to find another project that brings out... you.

As lame as that may sound, there's nothing more soul-sucking than a project not worth attending. Beyond being a writer... everyone is a person who needs to live as much as possible. So yes, have courage to do the things you love. If it happens to be writing, than write the things you love, figure out how to love what you are writing... and if you can't muster it in you -- honestly, don't stay attached to a dead donkey. Time is too precious to waste it on junk. There's no reason in this massive world FULL OF OPTIONS that any writer should have a bad marriage to their prose. Don't let a writing project abuse you. You've got to live, and if you're not living with your writing... it's dull, lackluster.

*DISCLAIMER: You should always try to appreciate what you're writing, even if it isn't an initial love interest. In fact, if you don't love it, do what you can to study out and figure out how you could appreciate your writing venture.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Week 8 -- Linguistics + the Visual World

I may be behind on these posts. I need to look at a schedule and see what week we are in for the semester.

I'll try to make this short, sweet, and to the point. I have plenty to do so there's no point in overstaying.

I just got my linguistics midterm back and I have come to the discovery that linguistics is well suited for film. Linguistics looks into the core concepts behind words, what visuals come out of those concepts, and the sounds used to convey a word, which holds a concept. I apologize for the muddy language here.

If at the core of words is concepts and visuals, then how much more can the world of film be improved by studying linguistics? Linguistics is like biology: it traces words, like fossils, down to their origin. Therefore, if we study words, we should be able to find more appealing visuals, and not only that, but how those visuals connect with other visuals (a symbol a director plants into a film may end up having more density than intended). I think one of the keys for good film making is finding how visuals can best tell stories. Sometimes in production, crew members and the like become distracted by movement in itself but forget how to make things connect in a compelling and or visceral way.

There was a section in my linguistics class on studying dreams. I for one am the type of dreamer who goes through series of abstract visuals from spinning staircases, giant fountains with roses, dragons at tea parties, and castle in clouds. There's no end to what may happen. It doesn't always make sense to me, but the dreams that actually stay with me, that I wish I could have again, are the ones with images that are beyond me. The purpose of dream linguistics is to look into how a language the conscious mind not be fluent on, but fluent in the subconscious, how this other language can be made accessible.

I think what I'm getting at is that film makers need to venture out to find more incredible graphics while also finding ways of breaking these images down for the audience to understand. Sometimes we are not in tune with the absurd, the beautiful, or the complex, and therefore, the art of writing strong visuals is to edit it together in a way that the eyes can read, the mind can enjoy, and the heart will keep for years to come.

Basically, my post here is to say that studying linguistics may be a fine tool indeed for any film student, film amateur, you get the point, to have on their list of talents.

*I struggle to write on the topic of linguistics clearly. I may need to look this post over in the future for fine tuning purposes.